Life · Writing

Summer In Ireland

rain

Ah yes, it’s that time of year again when the hope and expectation of beach barbeques, ice creams and bikinis is dashed by plummeting temperatures, howling gales and NEVER-ENDING rain!  If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results,  then call us crazy because we keep searching for the mythical season that is summer.  Having said that, Ireland is home to the ‘All Seasons In One Day’ phenomenon, so really, it’s just a matter of knowing where to look.  I found summer at eight o’clock one morning last week, but she swiftly disappeared by eight thirty under a steely grey cloud, soon followed by rain and thunder.

rain3

The weather forecaster becomes public enemy number one.  ‘Sunny spells’ sounds more like a witch’s curse used to torture us with tiny glimpses of the summer we could have had, if it wasn’t for the big blue blob that relentlessly sweeps in from the west.  ‘Just tell us something good!’ we cry.  ‘Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies you harbinger of doom!’

rain2
Sorry, where did you say Ireland was?

It can be depressing, living under these grey skies.  One individual even wrote a book about how many shades of grey there actually are!  Poor cow.  Apparently it’s a trilogy.  They’ll never sell.  But you can’t let it get you down, you’ve still got to get out there and make the best of it.  What is it the Norwegians say?  There’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes.  Right, well I’ll just pack away the flip-flops for another year then.

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Summertime at the beach!

Although we shouldn’t grumble too much.  We did have those two glorious weeks at the beginning of June where the sun shone like an Unidentified Flying Object in the sky and Irish people had the rare opportunity of drying all of their washing outside.  Comedian Colm O’Regan noted a kind of washing ‘ennui’ setting in as people realised they had washed and dried everything they owned, but the sun was STILL shining.

And yeah, I sunbathed.  I sunbathed my ass off!  If you can call sitting out for 15 minutes and squeaking “Jesus, that’s almost TOO hot” before running back inside, sunbathing.  But the point is, I wanted to sunbathe.  My body ached for it.  The warmth, saints preserve us, the warmth!!   But of course, it couldn’t last.  We all knew it.  We had cheated the jet stream for long enough and now it was payback.  Once again, Colm had his finger on the nation’s pulse:

However, I’m fortunate in that I’m working on my novel, so this is perfect weather to be stuck inside for days on end, just me and my manuscript, typing away and …. LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!

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I can see clearly now the … nope, it’s still raining 😦

Ireland was obviously at the back of the queue when it came to Global warming.  There we were, expecting soaring temperatures like the rest of Europe, but oh no.  By the time our lot showed up, all that was left was – you guessed it- MORE RAIN.

Small -vs- Far Away

Still, I guess we’re saving our skin from all those harmful rays and while you’re stuck inside on your caravan holiday like Father Ted, you can use that time productively to identify all the different types of rain there are.  If the Eskimos have 50 words for snow, surely the Irish can beat them when it comes to rain.

  1. Sideways Rain – what’s happening outside my window as we speak.  Helped along by a northerly gale, this is the kind of rain that leaves you soaked all down one side of your body, so your outfit resembles a dip-dye version of what you left the house with.
  2. Misty Rain – the kind of rain that doesn’t really fall.  It just sort of hangs there and while it may look harmless (causing you to leave the brolly at home), it’ll drench you in one second flat.
  3. Thundery Rain – Not even a brolly can save you now. In fact, your brolly has become a lightening conductor – THROW IT AWAY IMMEDIATELY!
  4. Swirly Rain – When the wind plays a game with you so you never know which angle to hold the brolly.
  5. Sneaky Rain – The kind of rain that looks like it has finished, so you leave the house confidently, without raincoat or brolly, only for it to start raining two seconds later.
  6. Summer Rain – It’s warm and smells funny
  7. Spring Rain – Slightly cooler and smells fresh
  8. Autumn Rain – Likes to keep itself to itself.  Figures we’ve had enough rain all summer and we’re all too depressed to cope with anymore.  Plus the farmers have finished harvesting, so there’s no fun raining on them anymore.
  9. Winter Rain – Cold and falls like bullets.
  10. Picnic Rain – Waits until you’ve driven for an hour, set out your blanket and all the fiddly bits before the sky turns dark and the heavens literally open.
  11. Chubby Rain – That one might not be real.
  12. Stubborn Rain – ‘It’s down for the day’, you think to  yourself.  Two weeks later you still haven’t been able to leave the house and are living on tinned goods.

Well, that’s as far as I got.  Please feel free to add to the list, which is by no means exhaustive.  Answers on a postcard, but write it in pencil because the ink tends to run with all the bleedin’ rain!

 

PS.  To all of my readers who have kept both of my novels in the Top 100 Bestseller List in each of their categories since April – Thank you so much!  It feels really good to reach such a wide readership and just to let you know, my third novel will be available by the end of the year – come rain or shine 🙂

The Mysterious Bakery On Rue de Paris (7) - Copy

 

The Mysterious Bakery On Rue De Paris on Amazon.

 

 

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26 thoughts on “Summer In Ireland

  1. 🙂 Nobody says it like you Evie, you even make rain sound like gentle poetic prose!

    Tell me, why does Snoop Dog need an umbrella?
    Fo’ Drizzle

  2. Still raining across the Sea in north-west England. We have Reluctant Rain here. It drips a bit, then stops, drips a bit more, then stops, as though it’s reluctant to settle in. But eventually that low over the Pennines breaks through the hurdle and it pees down for several hours. I can’t believe how wet July has been, and it looks it’s only going to get wetter!

    1. Reluctant Rain – brilliant! See, what you’re missing there is a howling Atlantic gale to really get things going. I’m currently playing ‘Parasol Roulette’ – it’s a fun game where you have to guess which garden your umbrella is going to end up in!

      1. I’ve given up on umbrellas. They always end up inside out. I’ve bought a bunch of hoodies and resigned myself to always smelling slightly like wet dog as they dry on me!

  3. Oh, I like your titles esp Picnic Rain – I did a list of them in my book, explained the difference between driving, lashing and pouring rain etc and of course ‘a grand soft day’.

    1. Only just saw your comment Lorna – well if anyone should know the 50 words for rain, it’s a farmer! I’m sure you have to brave all the rains at all hours. Maybe we should bring out a book dedicated entirely to the different types of rain?!

    1. Haha 🙂 They should confiscate their phones at the airport! Yes, I’ve tried ‘holidaying’ in Donegal too – let’s just say it was bracing. God love us, we should receive some sort of summertime subsidy for staycations (maybe to buy some extra fleeces and a sunlamp!) x

    1. Thanks Lisa, it’s good to know that Michigan is kindly keeping its temperatures in line with Ireland! But if you ever need some soft Irish rain, you know where to come 😉

  4. There’s also mizzle! That’s drizzle with mist.
    We were home a couple of weeks ago and dodged rain and chased rainbows the entire time. My American husband finds the four seasons in one day hilarious. We climbed mountains and hiked all the same. You can’t let it get to you, eh? But you’ve a few nice hot days now, I believe, and sure you’ll get the people that say, “That’s enough of this. Sure it would roast ye!”
    Love your commitment. I thought my novel would be done by summer. Grrr

    1. Mizzle! Excellent – just jotting that one down. I think all foreigners should be dragged here to experience the climatic psychosis of this island, if only to make them appreciate their own weather more 🙂 Thanks btw, it’s not so much commitment as ‘get this thing out of me’! I’ve never had a child, but I’d imagine it’s just the same ;))) Hope you’re well xx

  5. Brilliant, Evie. Love this list. Last week I encountered inside-out rain. The sort of humid misty rain which precludes any waterproof clothing and soaks you from the outside as you sweat underneath your umbrella from the inside. It’s like walking underwater. Ugh.

    1. Inside-out rain – this is all getting quite scientific now, isn’t it?! Might have to set up a quango or something, get proper government funding for research and fancy lunches out 🙂 I think I experienced this very type of rain today, moisture & heat building up on the inside while cool mists drench you on the outside, then the cold front meets the warm front and it all kicks off!

  6. I enjoyed and thoroughly agree with this post, Evie. I’ve been running into the garden with my book whenever I see a beam of sunlight, then two minutes later running back into the house, then out again, in again……………….. at least I’m burning calories – instead of skin, lol. 😮 But I’ve read the same paragraph about twenty times.

    1. Haha, that’s great – burning calories instead of skin 😀 All I want is to be able to leave the house in an outfit that I’m confident will see me through to at least the next 30 minutes, but that seems like too much to ask in these parts 😦 It’s a thankless task, being a stay-cationer!

      1. I know what you mean about outfits. I took the dog for a ten minute walk the other day and I was wearing flip flops, a summer dress and a raincoat – just in case. The dog kept trying to get off the lead, I think he was embarrassed, lol.

  7. I’m an American living in Cornwall, where we get whatever weather’s left over after you’re done with it. To your list of the varieties of rain, I’d add what my partner calls spiteful rain–rain that somehow manages to fall out of a blue sky. No, don’t ask me how, but it does sometimes manage. Maybe it’s just what’s left from the last storm.

    I don’t know how it is in Ireland, but here people long for heat, then when it gets hot they wilt. Not to mention burn. Forget gray. I’ve never seen so many shades of red skin.

    1. Well I’m glad you told me – that’s Cornwall off the list of ‘fantasy’ destinations! Oooh ‘spiteful rain’, another party pooper! It’s pretty much the same here Ellen, two or more days in a row of hot weather and we lose the run of ourselves! Apparently the Irish spend more on outdoor furniture and BBQ’s per capita than any other European country… now that’s optimism 😉

      1. A tribute to the human spirit. Or its ability to believe, anyway. But I’d still keep Cornwall on the list if I were you. It may be wet, but it’s insanely beautiful. No more so than Ireland, I imagine, but still stunning.

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