When you write books, people are gonna want to ask you stuff. It is very important that you LIE when answering these questions. Lie through your teeth and don’t ever let them find out the truth. As a helpful resource, I’ve put together a mock interview, a mockterview if you will, to guide you through it.
- Do you have a writing routine?
Yes. I like to see how long I can spend not writing before the guilt kicks in. Then I simply distract myself with the kind of housework I wouldn’t normally do if my life depended on it… like cleaning the oven, descaling the kettle, washing my make-up brushes or, worst of all, clearing out THE DRAWER OF NO RETURN.
- Where do you get your ideas from?
Right at the back of THE DRAWER OF NO RETURN.
- So can you tell us what your new book is about?
Oh. Holy. Jesus.
- What’s your favourite part about writing?
The ‘not writing’ part.
- What do you tend to wear when writing?
Um, Chanel No.5? And the elasticated pants I’ve been threatening to throw out for two years.
- Who are your favourite authors?
Woah, hey, I’m not here to promote other peoples’ work!
- How do you handle bad reviews?
Very well actually. I’m a big believer in karma. But just in case karma is busy, I simply fashion a home-made punching bag with the offender’s avatar taped on the front and take care of business myself.
- What can readers expect from you in the future?
Bitter disappointment? Long periods of idleness? It’s hard to say.
- Did you always want to be a writer?
Yes, but then I’d never written anything, so I didn’t know any better. Reading books and thinking you want to be a writer is like watching the winter olympics and thinking you want to be an ice-skater… Then you realise how unbelievably slippy ice is! (It’s like, really slippy).
- Any advice for budding authors?
35 thoughts on “Writers – What Not To Say”
‘Who are your favourite authors? Woah, hey, I’m not here to promote other peoples’ work!’
Applauds 😉 Great post!:)
Glad you enjoyed it! I think it speaks to the true writer in all of us 😉
Love it, laughed ’til I cried … thank you Evie
You’re welcome, my work here is done 🙂
Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog.
Thanks for sharing Chris 😉
Welcome, Evie – Great Post 👍😃
Reblogged this on Viv Drewa – The Owl Lady.
Ha! I love this reminds me of a blog here – What People Always say to Writers – https://lifeassistanceagency.com/2016/08/01/what-people-always-say-to-writers/
Yeah, but mine’s funnier :-)))
Hahahahaha. Thanks for the laughs!
Thanks! I NEEDED that laugh!
Thank you! x
This is brilliant 😂
Ha ha ha. *cries*
Loved this! I have one of those drawers, it scares me 🙂
Love this cheeky side to Evie Gaughan 😂
Oh good! Me too 😉 Lots more fun x
Love it! Very funny but somehow so horribly true lol 😀
Thanks Nicki 😉
i loved this – thank you for your wit
Oh you’ve made my day! What a brilliant giggle inducing post Evie! May start asking authors to think more like you for my indie feature 😂
Never change!! 😘😘
God no, we can’t let the pubic know what we’re really like!! This is purely for educational purposes 😉
That’s so sweet, thank you Kate :*
Sharing, obviously. Too good not to. Horrifically true…
Reblogged this on jhohadli and commented:
One of the best pieces of advice I ever received, when nervously entering the media and publicity fray as a published writer was from my friend Gisele Isaac (who never nervously did anything), was just tell the truth; then you won’t have to remember what you said. And she was right. But I don’t think these were the truths she had in mind. My morning chuckle.
Thanks Joanne 🙂
I love this! I
‘ve just been taking photos of pink sweets and arranging flowers, but now really have run out of things to keep me away from my edits. Sigh.
Now are you sure you’ve exhausted all avenues Deborah, don’t give in too easily, that’s my advice! 🙂
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This was so funny!😂 made my morning walk slightly worth it.