Over-Exposed

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As we slide sun-burned and ice-creamed into August, I think it’s safe to assume we all just want to switch off from life for a while. But is it really possible to switch off when we carry our phones with us like some kind of external pace-maker? As though we might cease to exist if we do not maintain an online presence. But do we really need to share so much of our lives and what does it mean if external validation is all that keeps us ticking?

Every interaction has an exchange and we have to gauge the value of what we are receiving in return for the cost to us. This is where I am right now with social media and I know I’m not alone. I keep coming across more and more people wondering if social media is actually the benign distraction we once thought it was, or perhaps something a little more insidious.

Facebook never held any allure for me – I failed to see the benefits of curating my life for an audience who really couldn’t give a shit. Twitter, however, slowly became an intrinsic part of my daily life. I have learned so much on Twitter about feminism, gender bias, publishing, writing and (no surprises here) that dogs are the true comedians of the world. I’ve had some right laughs and connected with brilliant people.

BUT …

I find my mood is increasingly affected by what I see on there – whether it be political propaganda, bad news stories, argumentative and angry people who just want to pick a fight or on the other end of the scale, people being really successful and happy. There doesn’t seem to be much middle ground – ordinary people having ordinary ups and downs. It’s all¬†somebody who fears their own irrelevance says something controversial¬†and you find yourself drawn into a pointless discussion from which you gain nothing. In fact you’re losing something really important; your time.

This is my real issue with social media. It has taken away our golden opportunities to be bored. Scrolling is the new navel gazing, except that navel gazing might lead to some kind of interesting insight into the psyche, or make you so bored that you decide to paint the bedroom. But at least you’d be connecting with yourself and your feelings. There’s nothing wrong with a little distraction, but it’s starting to feel like social media is stealing our down time and we’re complicit in the crime. I’m just not sure I’m willing to pay the cost anymore.

It’s the ‘always on’ aspect that seems to be causing this collective burn out. And why wouldn’t it? We were all hooked under the guise of connecting with people, but is it meaningful connection? We are all providing free content for a platform which uses our shared pics to attract more users. We are all essentially working for Instagram, for free!¬† Like, how many times have you stopped in the middle of a nice walk, meal or holiday trip to take a photo for Insta? If you think it through, you are interrupting your personal, private experience to do something for your social media accounts that will gain likes or follows. You are promoting your page. That is work and you’re not getting paid for it.

And even regardless of remuneration, you are thinking about your free time differently when viewing it through the lens of social media. You wonder, will this look good? Will people be impressed? Because I saw X and Y put up pictures of that place they went to and it looked great. And I want people to think I do interesting things too. So we are all being ensnared by each other with representations of our lives that only offer the merest of glimpses into reality. We all know this on a rational level, but we don’t often stop to think about the thought processes this sparks off and how it affects our everyday lives. I see a photo of someone on a beach on their holidays looking serene and free and I just assume their entire holiday was like that. I don’t see the mundane bits, the bits where everything went wrong or God forbid, the boring bits. The arguments. The seething resentment. So this creates an impossible fantasy of what our lives should be like, but will never be, because it’s not real.

And that’s the crux of it. It’s not real and I don’t think I can be a part of that. Maybe I should become a crusader for authenticity, like the wonderfully hilarious Celeste Barber, who gives a real-life makeover to some truly ridiculous IG posts. But fucking hell, that’s more work, more of my precious time and what do I get out of it? It’s one thing if you are actually promoting something, then social media is a fantastic marketing tool. But if not, then you are simply promoting yourself and your life becomes a commodity. Yep, sounds dystopian to me too.

celeste barber

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This is my fav!

So I’ve returned to the good old blog – a place where I can really take my time to talk about how I feel about things without having to upload some filtered selfie of me not being me. When I blog, I sit down to write, it’s a choice I make. But scrolling on Twitter and trying to find interesting pics for Instagram is just a mindless addiction and feels, at best, shallow and superficial. At worst, I’m handing my free time over to large corporations who profit from our need to feel seen, to matter. Well, I see you, all of you out there who are just doing your best and trying to find meaning and purpose in this unpredictable world. And my God you matter – more than a silly photo or a witty tweet. You already matter – you don’t need likes to prove that. x

 

 

A Writer’s Holiday

As most of you will not have noticed at all, because you have your own lives, I’ve been taking a bit of a break from social media.¬† And it has been good.

While most writers talk about taking a break from writing, I’m talking about a break from being ‘visible’, ‘out there’ and ‘switched on’.¬† A break from that constant gnawing feeling that you should be doing something… online.¬† Being online creates that weird paradox where you feel like you’re achieving something, but what it is, you can’t exactly say.

We’re always on.¬† And if we’re not on, there is a fear that we’re not doing enough.¬† ¬†Or FoMO – Fear of missing out (yes, it’s a thing!)¬† Are we using Twitter/Facebook/Instagram or are they using us?¬† Where is the down time?¬† Are we really interacting meaningfully, or are we just scrolling through other peoples’ thoughts, witnessing other peoples’ outrage and occasionally getting caught up in debates¬†with people who never let the facts get in the way of a good argument.¬† Like Bing Crosby sang, we’re busy doing nothing.

But it’s all harmless fun, right?¬† Maybe, in moderation.¬† But the mindless compulsion to check into this social world every day in order to feel like you’re ‘engaging’, eventually becomes a bit joyless… a bit robotic.¬† So I switched off.¬† I put a sign on Twitter saying I was on a break (mainly as a deterrent to myself) and even unplugged the broadband.¬† For a whole day.¬† But then I had to plug it back in to check my email because I’m not complete lunatic.

I felt bad at first – all of the people who retweet me and whom I regularly retweet might get the hump (or think I’m dead).¬† But I had to ask myself, am I a writer or a social media personality??¬† The answer was simple and funnily enough, so was the break.¬† I didn’t miss it at all.¬† The constant need to keep up with everything, to stay connected, was gone.

That restlessness was replaced by restfulness.

Turns out, I didn’t need to know everything after all.¬† But Twitter and Facebook weren’t going to let me away that easy.¬† Notifications telling me that people I ‘know’ have all liked the same picture tried to tempt me back.¬† ‘What is the picture?’ I wondered to myself, but I stood fast.¬† Even when Facebook lamented the 228 followers who hadn’t heard from me in a while, did I want to rectify that??¬† No, they’d have to get through the day without me.

It’s silly really.¬† We’re all trying to promote stuff without looking like we’re promoting stuff.¬† ‘THEY’ say that you shouldn’t promote on social media, you should gain popularity by being interesting and fun to follow.¬† No pressure there then!¬† Is this high school or some kind of Machievellian double-speak?!¬† ¬†99% of our lives (if we’re lucky) are pretty boring, so how are we going to keep all of our followers entertained and somehow fool them that we have something interesting going on, all the time??¬† I don’t need my readers to know how uninspiring I can be on a daily basis.¬† ¬†I am a writer and I’m here to promote my books – let’s call a spade a spade!¬† And the really funny thing is that when I took a step back from social media, my book sales continued to rise.¬† So there was no correlation whatsoever between me being constantly switched on and my reach when it came to readers.¬† My book even did this:

#3

Yes, you are seeing correctly – that’s my book at number three, beside Alice Hoffman’s ‘Practical Magic’.¬† Quite the milestone!¬† And it happened all by itself.¬† Well, by the power of Amazon’s algorithms, which I still don’t get, but the point is, it had nothing to do with Twitter.

And it’s not just me.¬†¬†I’ve read a lot of blogs recently where book bloggers are cutting down and in some cases, no longer taking part in blog tours.¬† The pressure to be available all of the time is taking its toll and I think a lot of people are trying to create more of a balance, where they can participate on their own terms.¬† They are continuing to promote books, but in a way that suits them.¬† More and more, I see people questioning the benefits of being so switched on all of the time. ¬†There comes a saturation point where you have to step back and focus on your own path.

Have I used this break to write?¬† Nope!¬† I’ve done NOTHING and it’s been wonderful.¬† I’ve read other peoples’ books.¬† I’ve been checking out designs for my new book cover with my publisher.¬† I’ve baked!¬† I spent half an hour trying to make some DIY Nordic Christmas decorations (damn you Pinterest!) Unfortunately, my Christmas star ended up looking like a Halloween pentagram, but hey, I made something.¬† I’ve allowed myself to get bored.¬† Remember boredom?¬† The mother of all creation.¬† I watched Stranger Things and kept all of my opinions about it to myself (it’s basically ET, right?!)¬† I got a head cold and ‘took to the bed’ without a second thought for my abandoned accounts.¬† And it feels so good to just let my mind be free.¬† To not have that niggling feeling… ‘I’ll just check’.

So, the moral of the story is, a change really is as good as a rest.¬† Taking a break from social media has just made me more aware of how jaded I had become by the whole thing.¬† And it’s not like anyone is holding a gun to my head (well, not that I’m aware of *gulp*) so all of this pressure to be ‘on’ is self-inflicted.¬† I can get all of my social media stuff done in half an hour, so where do the other two and a half hours go?¬† I think writers especially need time away from this social machine to create some space for creativity; to breathe and grow without this constant spotlight, demanding your attention and sapping your energy.¬† Social media is great – in my view its benefits certainly outweigh the down sides, but it might be better in small doses.

So like those people who do dry January, I’ve become all preachy and holier than thou (even though I did break my break a few times) so we’ll see how long that lasts!¬† What about you?¬† Have you managed to avoid getting sucked into the black hole of social media? Do you detox regularly or is switching off a step too far?

If you haven’t read my books, then you really should have the FoMO!¬† Check out my Amazon Author Page or follow the links below.

The Mysterious Bakery On Rue De Paris by [Gaughan, Evie]

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